Cheesiest Pickup Lines
Dec. 25th, 2017 12:04 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
duckyshimetaiTitle: Cheesiest Pickup Lines
Author: duckyshimetai
Beta-reader: none
Pairing: Junba, side Ohmiya
Length: Oneshot
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Aiba wants to get to know the new customer at his coffeeshop, but can't find the correct words. Can his coworker Nino help them?
Notes: This is my first Junba fic. Happy birthday, Aiba-chan! (Although I'm a little late! ><) Thanks for being our miracle boy and bringing so much sunshine and happiness into our lives ♥ It's also coincidentally written for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
rainbowfilling prompt: Cheesiest Pickup Lines.
------------------------------------------
“Welcome!” Aiba called cheerily as the bell above the door jingled, signalling another customer seeking warmth and shelter from the growing blizzard outside. The new arrival strode up to the counter, pulling down an elegant violet scarf from his face as he did so.
“One ... please,” and Aiba realised he had been staring at the man’s lips but not absorbing what had been said. He gave himself a little shake, and tried to look at the man’s eyes instead. Big mistake - he was falling deeper every second.
“I’m sorry, could you repeat that?” Aiba tried his best to smile, and to the man’s credit, he wasn’t irritated. “I’d like a double espresso.”
“Coming right up, sir!” In his haste, Aiba nearly knocked over one of the tiny toy Santas off the counter. It’s only the middle of November, he grumbled to himself slightly, and set the Santa back upright.
The drink was prepared and Aiba was about to pass it to the man, when another hand slid a teaspoon and a couple of packets of sugar onto the saucer, which Aiba had forgotten. Aiba smiled up at the owner of that hand. “Thanks, Nino!”
Nino gave a cursory nod and went back to the phone he kept hidden under the counter, while Aiba gave himself permission to watch the customer for a little while - after all, it wasn’t an especially busy day.
The elegant way that the customer sipped from his cup made Aiba’s heart flutter a little, and a dreamy smile slid onto his face. His reverie was broken by a poke to his ribs from Nino. “Stop staring like a lovesick hen and go talk to him already.”
Aiba blushed. “I-I can’t! I don’t know what to say!”
Nino rolled his eyes and shrugged as the customer finished his coffee and left. “You better hope he can read your mind then.”
Aiba blushed even harder - what had been in his mind was definitely not for PG audiences.
~~~~~
Nino unceremoniously tossed a small paperback book at Aiba the next morning. “Here.”
“Thank you, Nino, but what’s this? It’s too early for Christmas… and it’s not my birthday…” Aiba was a little confused, but picked it up and looked at it.
“‘Cheesiest Pick-Up Lines’? Nino, what on earth..?” Aiba looked incredulously at it and rubbed his eyes to make sure he wasn’t seeing things. “What makes you think I’d need something like this?”
“Believe me, it’s just a feeling.” Nino stated.
Aiba wasn’t listening, as he was already flipping through the book, turning redder at some of the things written in it. “Nino..! I can’t say things like this!!” He pointed at one of the lines, which went “Those are nice jeans, do you think I could get in them?”
“Try.” Nino wasn’t going to bother saying more on the subject, and as they went back around the counter, the bell rang.
“Welcome!” Aiba greeted the newcomer with a smile. Today’s customer was a shorter man, who was also sort of cute, and had a dreamy, faraway look in his eyes. Aiba knew his heart wasn’t beating as fast as it had been the day before, but as he glanced over at Nino, he knew whose was. A lightbulb lit up over Aiba’s head.
“Psst, Nino!” He whispered, trying to get his colleague’s attention. “How about you try out those pickup lines, and if they work, I’ll try it out too!” He winked, or rather attempted to, and that shook Nino out of his reverie.
“Fine. Just, don’t do that again. It makes you look constipated.”
Nino shifted to the front of the counter, directly ahead of the man, and put on his best I’m-trying-to-act-like-an-actual-employee face. “How may I help you?”
The customer smiled and said in a soft voice, “I’d like a hazelnut macchiato with extra whipped cream, please.”
The drink was duly whipped up and presented to him, and as he happily toddled off to the nearest table, Nino unconsciously let out a small sigh of adoration behind his back.
“Go on, Nino! You can do it!” Aiba giggled like a schoolgirl, giving Nino a small nudge. Nino huffed a little.
He slowly walked over to the table, where the customer was slowly sipping the sweet beverage, and coughed a little to get his attention.
“I’m sorry, were you talking to me?” He asked, and the customer looked up in slight confusion.
“No, I wasn’t.” The customer’s eyes widened expectantly, and Nino’s heart beat a little faster.
“Well then, please start.” Nino concluded the pick-up line, and the customer slowly smiled in comprehension.
“Oh, I see. Well, I think it’s better to start with our names first. I’m Ohno Satoshi. And you are..?”
“Ninomiya Kazunari, at your service.” He grinned, and flashed Aiba a victory sign from behind his back.
~~~~~
“Wow, so it actually works!” Aiba enthused. He and Nino were discussing the day’s events while they closed up the shop.
“Yep.” Nino said smugly, although he himself found it a little unbelievable.
“I guess I’ll try it the next time he comes in.” Aiba rubbed his chin thoughtfully.
~~~~~
The next time came and went, and the next, and the next, but every single time that Aiba tried to open his mouth, the words just wouldn’t come out.
Nino, however, had no such problem. As Ohno appeared more and more frequently, so did Nino’s pick-up lines.
“You look cold...want to use me as a blanket?” Aiba overheard one day. He turned and saw Nino already draped over Ohno’s shoulders. If Nino were a cat, he’d surely be purring as well.
Aiba wanted to tell him, “Nino! This is not how you treat customers!” but decided against it as there wasn’t anyone else around at that time of day. And the two of them did look pretty cute together, he had to admit.
Just then, the door opened, and Nino immediately shot back to his normal position behind the counter. Aiba marvelled at how quick he was.
“It’s him, you doofus!” Nino hissed, nudging Aiba in the back. “Go on!”
Aiba froze to the spot. His lips were moving, but not a single sound was coming out. He managed a shaky smile, and the customer smiled back, dazzling him. Aiba melted like one of the marshmallows they served in their hot chocolate.
He stammered, “W-what would you like today, sir?” and the customer mumbled something that sounded incomprehensibly like “Your number.”
“Wait, what?” Aiba gasped in shock, and the customer hastily backtracked, his face reddening. “I-I said, the usual.”
“Oh.” Aiba couldn’t hide the little hint of disappointment in his voice. “Right then.” He turned back to the coffee machine and started preparing the drink.
He didn’t see the customer smack his own forehead in exasperation.
~~~~~
“His name is Matsumoto Jun.” Nino stated in a flat voice while they were closing the shop one day.
“Whoa, how did you-” Aiba was gobsmacked.
“I asked.” Nino said simply. “Seriously, Aiba, you should try that sometime instead of just gawping.” He eyed a stray coffee cup, and, deciding it was too much bother to wash, left it in the sink for Aiba.
“I do try!” Aiba pouted. “It’s not my fault I get so… so tongue-tied every time I see him!”
~~~~~
Seven visits later, Aiba decided to try again.
Taking a deep breath after preparing the double espresso, he turned to Jun and began, “Did...did it hurt?”
Jun stared wide-eyed at him. “Did what hurt?”
“When you fell from the sky.” For a moment, time seemed to freeze, and then Aiba realised what he’d said and immediately covered his blushing face. “Ah, I meant heaven! Not the sky!” He peeked out shyly from between his fingers, but Jun had already fled with his drink.
~~~~~
After witnessing Aiba’s spectacular failure, Nino, being Nino. offered to give Aiba lessons after their shifts ended in return for a weeks’ worth of lunch. That was how the two of them ended up in a secluded ramen shop with Ohno and another man one evening.
“This is Sho, he’s Oh-chan’s friend.”
“Watch and learn, Aiba-shi.” Nino waltzed over to Ohno from the counter.
Leaning over the table suggestively, he said, “Kiss me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs still exist, right?”
Ohno giggled and willingly obliged. Aiba nodded attentively while the other man was fully focused on his ramen.
“Now you try with Sho-kun.” Nino ordered.
“B-but I don’t want to kiss him!” Aiba protested. “No offence though,” he added, turning to Sho.
“None taken,” Sho grinned, while Nino facepalmed. This was going to be a long ride.
~~~~~
Aiba was beginning to think that he wasn’t ever going to get anywhere with Jun.
It was Christmas Eve, and Aiba was definitely not looking forward to the thought of spending his evening after work alone, yet again, when the bell rang and a familiar silhouette came in.
“I heard it was your birthday,” Jun said, placing a small gift on the counter. Aiba accepted this and thanked him profusely before turning to prepare the usual order.
As Aiba set down the espresso, he heard a tiny cough from Jun, and looked up.
Jun took a deep breath and enunciated clearly. “Hold the sugar, you’re sweet enough.”
Aiba gasped, and his hands flew to his mouth. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Jun must have seen his expression, and been encouraged, though, because he ploughed on.
“Are you going to kiss me, or do I have to lie to my diary?”
Aiba took a moment to process this. The next moments were a blur as Aiba leant over the counter and passionately kissed Jun full on the lips. In the midst of all the excitement, from Jun’s hand fell a very familiar, small paperback book.
Author: duckyshimetai
Beta-reader: none
Pairing: Junba, side Ohmiya
Length: Oneshot
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Aiba wants to get to know the new customer at his coffeeshop, but can't find the correct words. Can his coworker Nino help them?
Notes: This is my first Junba fic. Happy birthday, Aiba-chan! (Although I'm a little late! ><) Thanks for being our miracle boy and bringing so much sunshine and happiness into our lives ♥ It's also coincidentally written for
rainbowfilling prompt: Cheesiest Pickup Lines.------------------------------------------
“Welcome!” Aiba called cheerily as the bell above the door jingled, signalling another customer seeking warmth and shelter from the growing blizzard outside. The new arrival strode up to the counter, pulling down an elegant violet scarf from his face as he did so.
“One ... please,” and Aiba realised he had been staring at the man’s lips but not absorbing what had been said. He gave himself a little shake, and tried to look at the man’s eyes instead. Big mistake - he was falling deeper every second.
“I’m sorry, could you repeat that?” Aiba tried his best to smile, and to the man’s credit, he wasn’t irritated. “I’d like a double espresso.”
“Coming right up, sir!” In his haste, Aiba nearly knocked over one of the tiny toy Santas off the counter. It’s only the middle of November, he grumbled to himself slightly, and set the Santa back upright.
The drink was prepared and Aiba was about to pass it to the man, when another hand slid a teaspoon and a couple of packets of sugar onto the saucer, which Aiba had forgotten. Aiba smiled up at the owner of that hand. “Thanks, Nino!”
Nino gave a cursory nod and went back to the phone he kept hidden under the counter, while Aiba gave himself permission to watch the customer for a little while - after all, it wasn’t an especially busy day.
The elegant way that the customer sipped from his cup made Aiba’s heart flutter a little, and a dreamy smile slid onto his face. His reverie was broken by a poke to his ribs from Nino. “Stop staring like a lovesick hen and go talk to him already.”
Aiba blushed. “I-I can’t! I don’t know what to say!”
Nino rolled his eyes and shrugged as the customer finished his coffee and left. “You better hope he can read your mind then.”
Aiba blushed even harder - what had been in his mind was definitely not for PG audiences.
~~~~~
Nino unceremoniously tossed a small paperback book at Aiba the next morning. “Here.”
“Thank you, Nino, but what’s this? It’s too early for Christmas… and it’s not my birthday…” Aiba was a little confused, but picked it up and looked at it.
“‘Cheesiest Pick-Up Lines’? Nino, what on earth..?” Aiba looked incredulously at it and rubbed his eyes to make sure he wasn’t seeing things. “What makes you think I’d need something like this?”
“Believe me, it’s just a feeling.” Nino stated.
Aiba wasn’t listening, as he was already flipping through the book, turning redder at some of the things written in it. “Nino..! I can’t say things like this!!” He pointed at one of the lines, which went “Those are nice jeans, do you think I could get in them?”
“Try.” Nino wasn’t going to bother saying more on the subject, and as they went back around the counter, the bell rang.
“Welcome!” Aiba greeted the newcomer with a smile. Today’s customer was a shorter man, who was also sort of cute, and had a dreamy, faraway look in his eyes. Aiba knew his heart wasn’t beating as fast as it had been the day before, but as he glanced over at Nino, he knew whose was. A lightbulb lit up over Aiba’s head.
“Psst, Nino!” He whispered, trying to get his colleague’s attention. “How about you try out those pickup lines, and if they work, I’ll try it out too!” He winked, or rather attempted to, and that shook Nino out of his reverie.
“Fine. Just, don’t do that again. It makes you look constipated.”
Nino shifted to the front of the counter, directly ahead of the man, and put on his best I’m-trying-to-act-like-an-actual-employee face. “How may I help you?”
The customer smiled and said in a soft voice, “I’d like a hazelnut macchiato with extra whipped cream, please.”
The drink was duly whipped up and presented to him, and as he happily toddled off to the nearest table, Nino unconsciously let out a small sigh of adoration behind his back.
“Go on, Nino! You can do it!” Aiba giggled like a schoolgirl, giving Nino a small nudge. Nino huffed a little.
He slowly walked over to the table, where the customer was slowly sipping the sweet beverage, and coughed a little to get his attention.
“I’m sorry, were you talking to me?” He asked, and the customer looked up in slight confusion.
“No, I wasn’t.” The customer’s eyes widened expectantly, and Nino’s heart beat a little faster.
“Well then, please start.” Nino concluded the pick-up line, and the customer slowly smiled in comprehension.
“Oh, I see. Well, I think it’s better to start with our names first. I’m Ohno Satoshi. And you are..?”
“Ninomiya Kazunari, at your service.” He grinned, and flashed Aiba a victory sign from behind his back.
~~~~~
“Wow, so it actually works!” Aiba enthused. He and Nino were discussing the day’s events while they closed up the shop.
“Yep.” Nino said smugly, although he himself found it a little unbelievable.
“I guess I’ll try it the next time he comes in.” Aiba rubbed his chin thoughtfully.
~~~~~
The next time came and went, and the next, and the next, but every single time that Aiba tried to open his mouth, the words just wouldn’t come out.
Nino, however, had no such problem. As Ohno appeared more and more frequently, so did Nino’s pick-up lines.
“You look cold...want to use me as a blanket?” Aiba overheard one day. He turned and saw Nino already draped over Ohno’s shoulders. If Nino were a cat, he’d surely be purring as well.
Aiba wanted to tell him, “Nino! This is not how you treat customers!” but decided against it as there wasn’t anyone else around at that time of day. And the two of them did look pretty cute together, he had to admit.
Just then, the door opened, and Nino immediately shot back to his normal position behind the counter. Aiba marvelled at how quick he was.
“It’s him, you doofus!” Nino hissed, nudging Aiba in the back. “Go on!”
Aiba froze to the spot. His lips were moving, but not a single sound was coming out. He managed a shaky smile, and the customer smiled back, dazzling him. Aiba melted like one of the marshmallows they served in their hot chocolate.
He stammered, “W-what would you like today, sir?” and the customer mumbled something that sounded incomprehensibly like “Your number.”
“Wait, what?” Aiba gasped in shock, and the customer hastily backtracked, his face reddening. “I-I said, the usual.”
“Oh.” Aiba couldn’t hide the little hint of disappointment in his voice. “Right then.” He turned back to the coffee machine and started preparing the drink.
He didn’t see the customer smack his own forehead in exasperation.
~~~~~
“His name is Matsumoto Jun.” Nino stated in a flat voice while they were closing the shop one day.
“Whoa, how did you-” Aiba was gobsmacked.
“I asked.” Nino said simply. “Seriously, Aiba, you should try that sometime instead of just gawping.” He eyed a stray coffee cup, and, deciding it was too much bother to wash, left it in the sink for Aiba.
“I do try!” Aiba pouted. “It’s not my fault I get so… so tongue-tied every time I see him!”
~~~~~
Seven visits later, Aiba decided to try again.
Taking a deep breath after preparing the double espresso, he turned to Jun and began, “Did...did it hurt?”
Jun stared wide-eyed at him. “Did what hurt?”
“When you fell from the sky.” For a moment, time seemed to freeze, and then Aiba realised what he’d said and immediately covered his blushing face. “Ah, I meant heaven! Not the sky!” He peeked out shyly from between his fingers, but Jun had already fled with his drink.
~~~~~
After witnessing Aiba’s spectacular failure, Nino, being Nino. offered to give Aiba lessons after their shifts ended in return for a weeks’ worth of lunch. That was how the two of them ended up in a secluded ramen shop with Ohno and another man one evening.
“This is Sho, he’s Oh-chan’s friend.”
“Watch and learn, Aiba-shi.” Nino waltzed over to Ohno from the counter.
Leaning over the table suggestively, he said, “Kiss me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs still exist, right?”
Ohno giggled and willingly obliged. Aiba nodded attentively while the other man was fully focused on his ramen.
“Now you try with Sho-kun.” Nino ordered.
“B-but I don’t want to kiss him!” Aiba protested. “No offence though,” he added, turning to Sho.
“None taken,” Sho grinned, while Nino facepalmed. This was going to be a long ride.
~~~~~
Aiba was beginning to think that he wasn’t ever going to get anywhere with Jun.
It was Christmas Eve, and Aiba was definitely not looking forward to the thought of spending his evening after work alone, yet again, when the bell rang and a familiar silhouette came in.
“I heard it was your birthday,” Jun said, placing a small gift on the counter. Aiba accepted this and thanked him profusely before turning to prepare the usual order.
As Aiba set down the espresso, he heard a tiny cough from Jun, and looked up.
Jun took a deep breath and enunciated clearly. “Hold the sugar, you’re sweet enough.”
Aiba gasped, and his hands flew to his mouth. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Jun must have seen his expression, and been encouraged, though, because he ploughed on.
“Are you going to kiss me, or do I have to lie to my diary?”
Aiba took a moment to process this. The next moments were a blur as Aiba leant over the counter and passionately kissed Jun full on the lips. In the midst of all the excitement, from Jun’s hand fell a very familiar, small paperback book.
no subject
Date: 2017-12-28 04:01 am (UTC)wahooo~ nice nino!
Thanks for this cute fic <3
no subject
Date: 2017-12-29 02:35 pm (UTC)Thank you for reading and commenting! ♡